shi (:

Are you gonna finish strong?

2009-03-12T01:33:00.002+08:00

Last post,

2009-03-08T00:27:00.000+08:00

www.xanga.com/twosimplewords

mode

2009-03-07T12:51:00.002+08:00

hibernated my com, fell asleep. room's a mess, mind's a mess, drawings' a mess, ideation's a mess, eveything's messed up. very.

BYE! off to some idk what concert, hope it will be good. heehee.

hortpark, fuck. yeah!

2009-03-06T22:21:00.003+08:00

Hortpark is a really hot place! seriously there's nothing there, not fun at all. fuck all those that think that place is really nice to chill and all. nb. is good for educational purposes but for outing with friends, just fuck that place. argh.
i've got alot of assignments on hand! i think? lets see, frank stella, paper making, 30cm clay, analysis presentation and 2 fucking journals! fuck journal. seems like i've so many journals to do, that idk which one to start with. and fuck la, photos and more photos. hate taking photos. :(

cant believe i spend my friday night with billy and wg in the bloody cab. but freeride home what, kiao what, kiao for life ma. HAHAHAHHA
i'm so having a weekend that im not looking foward to, idk why too, though i've stuffs on both days. argh :(

nostalgic.

2009-03-06T00:58:00.002+08:00

Was thinking about lots of things, since much weird stuffs had been happening. i had very weird dreams recently and my horoscope recently is horribly accurate. i wonder why, is it cause im just too sensitive. idk why, i knew march's gonna be fuck up, never have i expect it to be so fuck up. where's the one. i think im old already. i had been thinking alot of the past yet im looking foward to the future. looking towards to who's next and what's next. and this looks like a is gonna be a long year ahead. sometimes 3 weeks sounds long and one month sounds short. idk why also.

haiya, i feeling damn fuck up and what not already. nnb, sometimes i really question life know, and life doesnt answer me at all. i dont get it, and fuck all these fairytales and superpower, it has been leading me on man. like looking at my bear and goes:
"HEY I KNOW YOU ARE THE MAGICAL ONE, COMEON JUST GRANT ME THIS LITTLE WISH!!!"
bear: ...
me: ah fuck la, zzz.

Queer

2009-03-05T23:57:00.002+08:00

The world's so weird?! what's wrong with the world man?!

and hey like you say i live my life alone, so whats with you telling me what to do. and what's with all the wrong assumptions and all. well, maybe it's better this way. so annoying. why do all these weird things happen to me. nbcb

crap,

2009-03-05T20:08:00.002+08:00

school was seriously crap. everyday have to wake up so fucking early. nb. luckily yeoyeo is a nice guy. lol. i think i had been very annoying this whole week, and thanks for my classmate for putting up with my annoyingly cute self. heehee. lol

SO not easy to be slim. i tried so hard, yet it seems like is getting nowhere. the psychological slim down doesnt seem to be applying on reality. damn.fuck.up. feel so sad to be so fat. think is beyond help. but i wouldnt give up. i dont understand why some people can be on diet and slim down yet i dont! is it cause my intake of food is still alot? ok maybe cause it has only been a week? walao, idk! and i wouldnt give up.

and i want long hair! like those fucking long one. walao eh, i want so many things laaaaaaaa. i seriously wana improve on alot of things, so can my tummy just flatten down first then my hair just grow long enough please?! AHHHHH

si.

2009-03-03T23:01:00.002+08:00

This month is so gonna be so dead. i feel dead, brain dead.

dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead

dead

idk why

2009-03-03T03:54:00.000+08:00

im not asleep yet, thank you. :D
w i s p l m, g p m s p m b f c?

RESTLESS

2009-03-03T01:06:00.002+08:00

IM FEELING SUPER RESTLESS MANZXZXZ. SEEMS LIKE TODAY IS AN UNPRODUCTIVE DAY AND IM FEELING SO ANNOYED. I KNOW I CANT GET TO SLEEP, CAUSE I'VE BEEN SLEEPING ALOT LATELY, SO LAZY TO START DOING WORK, IDK WHY EITHER. MY BRAIN SEEMS TO BE LACKING OF OXYGEN, AND I FEEL SO RESTLESS. YES RESTLESS. RESTLESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

tomorrow is the start of 3D art, wonder how im gonna survive this month. this month seems to be a very very very very very very very annoying month.

Voices of true love,

2009-03-02T02:54:00.002+08:00

Memory is a very weird thing. you dont appreciate it, you dont cherish it when you were at the situation, you took everything in that situation for granted. the path that you were walking on, the lamp posts you passed by, the bench you sat on. you paid alittle more attention to the person beside you, the conversation you had, the touch of the person, the presence of everything then. and when you lost everything, memory becomes so powerful, you can remember every details. you remember how long the path was, how dimmed the lights were, how big the bench was. you barely remember how the person looked like, what was the conversation about, you barely feel or sense the person anymore. so much you wana keep it, feel it, the hardly it gets. it just fade. everything becomes a blurred vision, cause humans changed, and slowly the characters in the memory changes too.
how you ask yourself? you remember he was there, right there, but when you looked back he is gone. no longer there. it has been an illusion, a happy dream.

Love is like that, Love is,

2009-02-28T01:25:00.000+08:00

True love's a suicide,

2009-02-28T00:25:00.002+08:00

i guess is not easy to survive from a suicide, but i think we have to learn to get better as days go by. i know noone can promise me tomorrow or even buy back yesterday, so we shouldnt be living in the past.

i think is time for me to stop repeating my mistakes.today is a sad day. despite the fact that ADT is over, but i think i didnt do a good job for my board and duh, my workmanship is totally crap. too lazy to think, too lazy to try. its like i want to hit the bull's eye at one go, but you know, life's never that easy.
sometimes i feel everything is like a joke. every single person that come and go, every single things that happen, big or small, who cares, life's a joke. it's like im always stuck at the second gear, hasnt been my day, week, month or even year. hahs, JOKE.idk. i think i should change. ya, i shouldnt be so smoking my way through kinda thing, actually idk, i have no problem to commit when i want to, cause i love to do so. but i have a serious problem with myself. i dont do things i dont like, and laziness is the queen in me.
why should we be submissive towards just because they want you to do it, dont you live your own damn fucking life for yourself, and not for others. dont people feel that the world is big, you think you know everything? you think you're the best? you think you're fucking knowledgable? you think your perception is always right? the way you think you are fucking right, is like ME, like how i think im fucking right too. dont you feel that you are fucking superficial, like as if the world revolves around you, saying things according to your own mood, and not cause of your natural emotions. that's when humans are screw up. cause they dont fucking think. they dont think for others, and what's worst, they think is ok to be selfish. fuck yourself then. and if you think many things are correct or right, cause it's scientific proven, or some whatever holy book written it down, then it's never correct. cause how can emotions and perception be recorded and proven? its about you observing, seeing, and feeling for others.

please fuck, 'OH! cause of this, that's why i make this decision.' decision lies in your heart, not your brain.

husband

2009-02-27T02:05:00.002+08:00

how how how!!!! my husband, edison chen coming to singapore, all the stupid girls going to see him!!! WHAT SHOULD I DO!!! so jealous. i cant go there tomorrow loh, if not the girls will kill me, cause i too pretty, hot and sexy. what more, im his wife! HOWHOWHOW!!!!

hahahahhahaha, today i scream, shout, sing and blasted music when it was raining heavily. my house was pretty dark without the lights on, and very noisy with the rattling of the raindrops and the thunder sounds. pretty thrilling, exciting and fun to compete with the nature. ok, i am mad.

i seriously hope my ahgong will be alright. sigh. not again, and i miss ahma. :(

Does it?

2009-02-25T22:34:00.002+08:00

It doesnt matter you know the reason for him leaving you, he left.
It doesnt matter if he was cheating you, he left.
It doesnt matter if it was once so true, he left.
It doesnt matter if everything was just an act, he left.
It doesnt matter if the reason of leaving is love, he left.
It doesnt matter how much he loves you, he left.
It doesnt matter how much you care, he left.
It doesnt mater if he still cares for you, he left.
It doesnt matter if he found a new love, he left.
It doesnt matter if he is still single, he left.
It doesnt matter if his current is better than you, he left.
It doesnt matter if you're the reason for his foolishness, he left.
It doesnt matter if he is living well, he left.
It doesnt matter how much you miss everything, he left.
It doesnt matter how much he used to hurt you, he left.

It doesnt matter if he left your heart, he left.

11:11

2009-02-24T22:53:00.001+08:00

im so gonna finish my model by tonight. im so gonna finish my model by tonight. im so gonna finish my model by tonight. im so gonna finish my model by tonight. im so gonna finish my model by tonight. im so gonna finish my model by tonight. im so gonna finish my model by tonight. im so gonna finish my model by tonight. im so gonna finish my model by tonight. im so gonna finish my model by tonight. im so gonna finish my model by tonight. im so gonna finish my model by tonight. im so gonna finish my model by tonight. im so gonna finish my model by tonight. im so gonna finish my model by tonight. im so gonna finish my model by tonight. im so gonna finish my model by tonight. im so gonna finish my model by tonight. im so gonna finish my model by tonight.

ohyeah! guanguan made me a kate spade paper wallet, so touch. HAHAHA. :D ok chiong, and anything just to mak slim down :D:D

miss you like crazy.

2009-02-24T01:59:00.000+08:00

Even though it's been so long
My love for you keeps going strong
I remember the things that we used to do
A kiss in the rain till the sun shine through
I tried to deny it but I'm still in love with you

CHORUS:
I miss you like crazy
I miss you like crazy
Ever since you went away
Every hour of every day

I miss you like crazy
I miss you like crazy
No matter what I say or do
There's just no getting over you

I can see the love shining in your eyes
And there comes a such a sweet surprise
If seeing's believing it's worth the wait
So hold and tell me it's not too late
We're so good together, we starting forever now

CHORUS

I miss you like crazy
I miss you baby
Love like ours will never end
Just touch me and we're there again

Just one night
And we'll have that magic feeling like we used to do
Hold on tight and whatever comes our way we gonna make it through
If seeing's believing it's worth the wait
So hold and tell me it's not too late
We're so good together, we starting forever now

CHORUS

And I miss you, I missed you
All the chances that you gave me
And a feeling gets this strong
And then the real thing come along
And I miss you

I miss you like crazy baby
Under your sweet love and take me
I miss you like crazy
A love like ours will never end
Just touch me and we're there again
I miss you like crazy
I miss you like crazy
No matter what I say or do

school,

2009-02-24T00:51:00.002+08:00

today went school for consultation, felt that it was quite a wasted one, shan't mention about it. feeling so lazy about joining the ura stuffs, idk if i can contribute much, or my mind would listen to me that day. hope that my mind and soul would make friends on that day. well, i dont want to be a free loader, not contributing but sharing glory, despite winning or not.
and i decided to go over australia after my poly to get my degree or what, asked dad, he agreed. so i dont think there's much to considerate or anything. hmm, i'll see how, if i can be able to make it to singapore uni, then it would be much better. much chances are really low. :(

so annoyed with painting, myself, untidyness and what not. oh i think i damn funny. i experienced something so sensational, yet hurting. hahahahahha. i think im mad. damn silly, ok i miss staying out for drinking and all. :(

today is just another average day. well, boring.

2009-02-22T23:43:00.002+08:00

WA THIS BIG BOOBS ANGMO ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK AH. I FEEL SO HONOURED. I TELL YOU HER NEI IS SERIOUSLY BEYOND WORDS. I SECRETLY STOLE ONE OF HER PIC, AND CROPPED IT. BUT IS SERIOSULY BIG. I SERIOUSLY STARED AT THE SCREEN WITH ADMIRATION SIA. WHY SO BIG. HAHAHAHA I SOUND SO SICK, IM NOT A LES, THANKS. BUT HER NEI BIG SIA. I GOT BIG NEI ADDING ME ON FACEBOOK!!!! SO HONOURED. DONT JEALOUS PLEASE. THANKS :DD

ok, went got a gathering over my sis's place, mantou didnt come. felt so broken. hahahah, cock. and how can i not enjoy being together with my cousins and all? :D:D

i laughed

2009-02-22T02:48:00.003+08:00

so many things i wana tell you. so long since i talk/seen you. so how? idk lei.

hahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahaha
hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhah
ahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahaha
hahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahaha
hahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahaha
hahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahha
hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha
hahahhahahahaha

I

2009-02-22T00:29:00.000+08:00

MOTHERfucker

2009-02-21T01:47:00.002+08:00

I DECIDED TO RANT AND VENT TODAY!

OMH, PLEASE STOP ASSUMING, STOP SPYING, STOP TALKING, STOP NAGGING, STOP HALLUCINATING, STOP BACKSTABBING, STOP CHANTING, STOP EVERYTHING. NB. YOU THIS CUNT, I SERIOUSLY RESPECT YOU AS WHO YOU ARE, SO PLEASE STFU. I DONT GET WHY MUST PEOPLE BE SO FUCKING ANNOYING AND MEAN AT THE SAME TIME. WHEN I SAY MEAN, I MEAN MEAN FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE HEART, LIKE WANT YOU TO DIE THOSE KIND, NOT THOSE JOKING MEAN.
I DONT GET HOW IS BEING AN AB AND AL, DOING MORON STUFFS, BEING LOW CLASS OR TRYING TO ACT ONE HIGH CLASS, OR FIGHTINGS, OR BREAKING THE LAWS, OR NOT STUDYING, OR SKIPPING EXAM CAN DO ANYTHING GOOD TO YOU, YES YOU, YOU THIS FUCKER.
FUCKING NOT MATURED BLOODY CUNT FACE. IF YOU THINK HAVING YOUR LIFE THIS WAY, IS THE BEST WAY OUT FOR YOU, THEN FUCKING GO ONE CORNER AND FUCK YOURSELF PLEASE, THANKS.
DONT GET IT DONT GET IT DONT GET!? WHY IS HUMAN THIS WAY? WHY AM I THIS WAY?
WHAT YOU SEE MIGHT NOT BE TRUE, THOSE THAT IS TRUE YOU MIGHT NOT SEE.
SEE SIMILAN, TRUE SIMILAN, JUST FUCK.THIS.SHITZ.FUCK.LIFE.FUCK.YOU.FUCK.PAST.FUCK.EVERYTHING.FUCK.OFF

ok im feeling better, despite being pissed off and typing these now, i still feel very cold and am shivering now. lol. BUT!! coldness doesnt freeze or numb the questions in me! why is everything so skeptical? or am i just being too paranoid, sensitive?

please dont let me wait again,

2009-02-21T01:30:00.003+08:00

Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 - Nov 21)

You might have a hard time trusting your feelings today with so many planets in emotionally detached Aquarius. Others may have a much easier time with this airy grouping, but you have an irrepressible inner voice reminding you how unbalanced your life becomes when you allow your head to tell your heart what to do. Ignoring your passions is not an option these days, but think first before making your next move.

meh meh,

2009-02-20T02:42:00.001+08:00

lets start to count sheeps!
one..
two..
three..
you..
no..
fuck..
off..

night :(

thursday,

2009-02-20T00:21:00.002+08:00

went school for consultation, glad that at least im done with my form. :D kinda annoyed with the fact that i've to KEEP TRACK of my progress, which i totally hate it. i hate taking photos of evey single steps, i got no patiences at all. wa, sibei dulan.
anyway, school is as awesome as ever! after school, met leong and all then met up with wendii. :D:D:D cant wait for everything! and steamboat next week?!

maybe, he's not the one and he's never fun to be with.

apart,

2009-02-19T02:15:00.001+08:00

02:02
do you know what's the furthest distance apart?
is me standing beside you, and you dont know i love you.

THANKSTHANKS! i know i damn sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! :D

please,

2009-02-19T01:22:00.001+08:00

please give me what i need. just give it to me, please.

answer,

2009-02-18T13:17:00.002+08:00

tell me how do i ignore people you know who's ruining their life and just let them be? how to ignore them for years till they finally realise their mistakes? isnt that too late? you know consequences dont come right after that, it takes years. and when it comes, is gonna be much more difficult.

but how do i tell/show him? what more i have my own fears too. why should another innocent life gets hurt, cant god help him out, if you really exist and is as great as people say, then help him, can you? a good nature can never be that bad at all. a kind man can never be evil.

so sad,

2009-02-18T03:17:00.002+08:00

so scary to know that the world is full of so much terrifying beings around. sigh. idk what to do now. i feel so unbearable, so disappointed. i mean why cant man be nice to woman, and treat them with respect and be there for them. like a real hero.

all these are bullshits. :(

have you?

2009-02-18T00:25:00.000+08:00

To make you smile i wana be there for you, have you forgotten me?

xoxo.

minor,

2009-02-17T21:20:00.002+08:00

today presentation was awesome to the max! :D:D lol. and i learnt alot of new things today, which i never know in my past 17 years till jy told me everything. HAHAHAHA.

well, sometimes i think i think too much, which isnt good at all. cause it makes me think so hard and i never get the complexity of human's minds right. i wish everyone would be like ADILAH!, such a happy go lucky girl. hahaha, ya right. if only life is that easy and smooth.

why do people only see the superficial acts, those major things one do for you, yet not those minor stuffs, those good intentions and caring thoughts that one has or done. am i really in my own world? or i just believe there's no reason for people to harm? isnt it? isnt helping just something natural, what more we are good friends? idk.

idw to have personal selfish thoughts and intention, makes me feel like a total loser.

familiar stranger

2009-02-17T03:05:00.003+08:00

it feels weird, to hear the same ringtone to ring again, cause it hasnt been ringing for very long, yet i didnt do anything.
it feels weird, to hear the same sms tone to ring again, cause it has been ages since i have non stop messages, thats why i didnt use the old ringtone.
it feels weird , to see your face in photo again, cause it became so unfamiliar, and i dont know if that's you.
it feeels weird, to hold someone else again, cause the feeling of you is still so strong.
it feels weird, to be in the same place again, cause too much memories and trails are left behind.
it feels weird, to cry like a bitch again, cause you're no longer the reason for it.

afterall, im just too afraid, that everything will happen once more.

ok, i got to sleep, presentation tomorrow. idk why, it just came right to my mind. i should be sleeping not these, not you. bye.

better than mama,

2009-02-16T22:35:00.002+08:00

12:12
11:11
10:10
05:05
02:02

You're so strong, i fell on my knees, i dont think i can handle this alone.
and one more night, i wana hold on to you, be there for you.
and the days go by, doing nothing about this.

If you ever did believe me.

Vagina's day.

2009-02-16T00:16:00.003+08:00

iwanttolovesomebody,thatsall.

When,

2009-02-15T15:23:00.002+08:00

Humans beings tends to have past dependency. we try to keep all our yesterdays, even though the day is TODAY. people collect antiques, reflective journal and take photographs, all for the sake of preserving them in memory. then when we realise is no longer real anymore, you ask yourself what for? and then it doesnt help abit, cause things repeat itself, how annoying.
i seriously wish for a fairytale, but a fairytale only happen when you meet someone who believes in a fairytale just like you do, but you realise, in society nowadays, there's so little of these beliefs. then what to do?
why do humans have to keep everything away from each other, hide from each other, and not being able to be open towards others? have they ever thought that, if you cant be open and accept yourself, then you cant be open towards others too. i seriously wish to know everything, every little thoughts that came upon other humans mind, so i can help them, accept them and be friend with them.

everythig is so complex, i wish it was easier, nothing should be in consideration, do what you do, feel what you feel. but no, life isn't this way, idk what i want now, and i feel sick that im actually being to think like what a human in society do, no longer cause i want it. is this good or bad. probably the world is gonna end one day cause of humans.
tell me, will you only show your fears, thoughts and emotions only at the last second of your life?
alright, i just want everyone including me to be happy, that's all.

Pictures.

2009-02-11T00:05:00.002+08:00

silence
shattered
defeat
standing
gone
love
he
dreams
wind
speed
illusions
kills
voices
memories
prayer
me

end ...

VODKA SPEAKS TRUTH.

2009-02-10T01:48:00.004+08:00

he that makes me smile.
he that makes me mad.
he that makes me cry.
he that makes me whine.
he that makes me worried.
he that makes me crazy.
he that makes me tired.
he that makes me caring.
he that makes me love.
he that makes me laugh.

sometimes, i thought it would be fine not caring about other factors, and just continue loving you, but it rather impossible. i thought it would be great seeing you beside me, holding my hands, making me mad, tearing me about and just have your smell linger around me. then again, i thought if it did continue then how will i be right now? will i still be the same, or just being anxious and living in a world of you? maybe this love should just be kept and buried. maybe love is not the happiest thing afterall. is true, yes it is, but we wasnt strong enough to defeat everything else. we.got.defeated.
im sorry for all the things i done, and those hardtimes i make you went through. and thanks for everything you ever done, thanks for being with me all these while. but now, i realise im all by myself. cause you have to go back home, and here is no longer your home. or is it?

The A cant be removed from my fourth finger.

2009-02-10T00:06:00.002+08:00

nothing much today, but surprisingly i slept till 1.30. wa.

Slutty slut slutttttttt.

2009-02-08T23:38:00.002+08:00

woah. saturday night was highness beyond highness. lol. yes again so we went jon's dad's place again. this time round not alot of people, cause many couldnt make it, so only a few of us. but it was really coolzxzxzxz. no police, less noise, but we enjoy so much! like woah. hahahahha. yaya, im the joke of the day. like again, hangover was terrible, like a total bitch. but it was all fun! went over ahma's place. had mini steamboat with them. it was awesome AND! i had my hair dyed midnight blue, is as good as black, but the blue is like is there but not there kinda feeling. lol. anyway, im liking it alot. hahaha.

Today, is not any other today.
Today, is today.
Today, has tomorrow(s).
Today, is a day.
Today, i face the day.
Today, i am.

another one.

2009-02-06T23:59:00.002+08:00

wg makes me happy for a moment when he told me is the fairygodfather and is willing to grant me wishes. now i wish. my wishes are gone! boohoo.

hey, what would you do if you weren't afriad? will you go out and give it one more try, give it one more chance and start everything anew. can you do it? or you rather stick with your life now? idk..

I.

2009-02-06T12:28:00.001+08:00

whats with the smile, happiness and laughters all these while when you are always having so much depressing thoughts and worries on your mind?

then you expect me to frown and cry everyday meh? siao.
i want my hero to pass by only, thats all.

Don't let these feelings fade

2009-02-05T20:04:00.002+08:00

What's up with everyone now? what's up with all these stupid norms? i think you should just get out of what confusion state you are in right now. it's not you. it's so not you. you never realise how many people actually care for you, and like you give a flying fuck about who cares, yes you dont. so dont assume nobody cares/loves you. cause you always have us, your fam.
argh.

installation done. presentation to moses done. new module, new month, new tasks. this.is.shitzxz. actually, i have alot of things on mind and somehow i want to get it off my chest by telling/shouting or anything. i thought that it would be nice to lie down under the big night sky and just stare at it forever, stars that appear to be smiling and a huge big sky that gives you security you ever need. i feel like rolling down slope which me and yx tried the other day, and i gave up half way cause the tar road was like hurting me. ok noob. sometimes, i really dont mind giving and helping anyone that needs it. is it too much to do? or is it just you that dont understand? is it cause human always want something in return, yet i just dont want to see another life hurt. i just hope everyone around me is happy and safe. do something i can just to see them smile, does it matters whether you are taken advantage of, when you know giving is a part of you. is something i really love.

BEE.

2009-02-05T00:36:00.002+08:00

cant believe i had been staying in school till close to 12am for two mad days. not for some camp shit, or having fun with friend. but been doing installation for the whole fucking day! wa. but is a nice experience to sweat and 'bleed' with your coursemate, helping out each other, and taking care of one another. glad that everyone is so helpful and sweet!! obviously, im better. :D hahaha.

i really want one super power ability please, like reading minds and all. then it'll be so fun! why cant human just be truthful and sincere to each other. why must human keep stuffs and hide away from each other? isnt it so hurtful? but why do i feel so inferior towards the community.

sigh, anyway, i need to sleep! byeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D like you care, lol.

there's no sense,

2009-02-04T00:11:00.002+08:00

cant believe is february already. 2nd day of february somemore. this is madness. time stop please stop. and if you can ever stop, then please maybe rewind back the times. those really good times. sigh. if time could ever stop, i think is too much for me to catch up with! i could hardly enjoy all these, every tomorrow just seems bleak. cant feel it. everything is just fuck up. perhaps im more fuck up. the more i bring it up, the more it surfaces, the more i cant let it go. the more i want you, the more hopes i have to see you tomorrow. the more empty i feel.

i could never imgaine some place like woha exsist in singapore ever. is like omfg. is just godlike.

Carpenter

2009-02-02T23:26:00.002+08:00

We've only just begun to live,White lace and promises
A kiss for luck and we're on our way.We've just begun.
Before the rising sun we fly,So many roads to choose
We start out walking and learn to run.
And yes, We've just begun.
Sharing horizons that are new to us,
Watching the signs along the way,T
alking it over just the two of us,
Working together day to day Together.
And when the evening comes we smile,So much of life ahead
We'll find a place where there's room to grow,
And yes, We've just begun.

i've just begun. woah, valentine is coming. haha cant believe i was looking for the present and it was just infront of me, staring at me with those innocent eyes. lol

argh.

2009-02-01T14:36:00.003+08:00

i desperately want to do my story board for my group, but the i actually left everything in studio! i cant do any work now, and i've got nothing to do. :( i had laksa in the morning, thus of the terrible runs im having currently.
i realise i have a very long wishlist that hmmm, that can never happen.
i realise i'm really fat, like woah, really need to slim down. anything. i seriously will do anything to slim down, even in the expense of pain. sounds scary but im gonna do it man.
i realise i really need alot of security, maybe i should get a guard as my future soulmate. haha. idk why im feeling this way too.
i realise i had been dreaming damn random dreams, and at the end of the dream, im always left alone in the dream, and i always feel lost.
i realise i lost touch with my bitches for like 2 weeks. walao eh. motherfucking bitch. lol!

i realise there's many things i wish for, yet im not getting. i want to be in a fairytale. its so perfect and lovely. everything is so beautiful. imagine all the flowers smiling at you, little animal talking to you, having a white tiger and a PANDA! as your pet. woah.
lastly, someone that loves you for eternity, and he really means eternity.
but it's all in tales isnt it?

MANTOU!!!

2009-02-01T01:00:00.005+08:00

had a very fun week end!!! thanks to jonathan and co again. glad that uncle eng doesnt mind us messing and making din at his place. lol. we had ktv session, sang alot of old english songs, i think the neighbourhood going crazy. but i was kinda tired on friday. lol. left in the morning cab home, then down to clementi then to hougang then cab back home. tiring. :D and i love mantou!!!
ok projs to do tomorrow! :D woha visit soon!

actually ah,

2009-01-29T21:26:00.002+08:00

why is something better left unsaid? till now know, i dont get why. why the fuck , how the fuck is it better? is like, god gave us brain and mouth, to talk and fucking speaking out for ourselves man. then why the fuck cant some people make use of it. hate it know.

actually these people very very annoying isnt it? ok, maybe is im just too dumb to understand all these ah. yes, still thinking about it, but whats the fucking point?!

oh god,

2009-01-29T00:18:00.003+08:00

cant believe i have to attend school tomorrow! so sad damn sad fucking sad motherfucking sad.
i think i really want to finish up my model making. and just get a pass will do. and i know is gonna pull my gpa down badly. oh god, i want a new module please!! get this over and done with, meanwhile, i cant wait to do my TLD! but i think is gonna be so fucking tiring again. hope we can do it in time! :D im gonna go school early tomorrow! wa, responsible student siaxxzxzxzzxz

had been doing lots of thinkings lately, again. so yea, very bad for mental health. idk why but, it just cant stop, all those, 'maybe','ya should be','must be','oh no! dont tell me...'.
well, i want to meet a magical thing/stuff/dog/insect/ANYTHING, so it can grant me wishes. why cant my life turn out like a fairytale? like something i really want. :( i realise is gonna be a year soon, and everything feels like yesterday.

a ba li bi la bo li bea

2009-01-28T00:07:00.003+08:00

back from malaysia. bus journey was surely long and slow. the sky was filled with stars man i swear. is damn beautiful ah! oh god. i would spend my life forever under sky like this. :D

ok trip was fun not that bad, nothing to buy. lol. quite exciting ah the trip.
and i love my family :D:D

fuck all of you ah, nobody tag me lo! nb. lol, very difficult to click on much loves meh?~

my heart, WHOA, heart.

2009-01-24T14:39:00.000+08:00

I can tell by your eyes that youve probbly been cryin forever,
And the stars in the sky dont mean nothin to you, theyre a mirror.
I dont want to talk about it, how you broke my heart.
If I stay here just a little bit longer,
If I stay here, wont you listen to my heart, whoa, heart?

If I stand all alone, will the shadow hide the color of my heart;
Blue for the tears, black for the nights fears.
The star in the sky dont mean nothin to you, theyre a mirror.
I dont want to talk about it, how you broke my heart.
If I stay here just a little bit longer,
If I stay here, wont you listen to my heart, whoa, heart?
I dont want to talk about it, how you broke this ol heart.

If I stay here just a little bit longer,
If I stay here, wont you listen to my heart, whoa, heart?
My heart, whoa, heart.

happy advance CNY :D loves to all, you. not?

2009-01-24T02:32:00.002+08:00

wa, sickening, just before my trip, i am having soar throat and flu. nb. damn annoying man.
then again, im not really looking foward to my trip, LOL. cause knowing the fact that, many assignments to hand in after CNY just kills all the mood. it is damn depressing i swear. :(

and eh! why noone tag me. please la tag ME lei. ask my stuffs like, how to get to the nearest mrt station, or you and your bf quarrel what should you do, or what should you buy for your bf, or anything ah!!! HAHAHA.

my sis told me that, the world will comes to an end when,
1. everyone lives in pegion hole(HDB)
2. sudden climatic change(wind now fucking strong)
3. slave becomes leader(recent election)

wah, imagine right after i post this, then the sky collapse. WOOHOO.
scary, idw to die yet, hmm, maybe not.
OH WELL. like the saying goes, eat well stay fit die anyway. wah wah how true. so everyone, get.a.life. do something meaningful rather than wasting time, acting famous, doing shits and getting fuck by people. LIVE YOUR DAMN FUCKING LIFE, LIKE REALLY LIVE IT.

When reality hits and human nature revealed

2009-01-22T23:39:00.001+08:00

i need my esteem and motivation and self entertainment back.
please please please please.

i hope everyone will be fine :D

nonsense.

2009-01-20T22:30:00.002+08:00

wonder whats up with all these sudden moodswings, and sudden detest of projs. well, totally had no god damn idea why am i feeling all these now, oh crap. every morning, the world just seems to be devoid of hopes, and there goes the cycle again. and when i'm feeling like this, i just hate to go to sleep, knowing the fact, i have to face the next day again with humanzxzs around me, sickening. just feeling like being alone in a deserted space with someone by my side. yet, its impossible! annoyingggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg. :( these few days had been pretty mundane for me, probably cause of the lack of motivation and much procrastination. oh well.
did i mention that i love gangster bus driver?
gangster = reckless = fast and furious= short and exciting trip to school.
wimps should just grow some ballzxz.
ok, i absolutely had no idea what i just said, bye.

oh come on, i need more love!

Truth,

2009-01-20T01:14:00.002+08:00

And the real happiness is to see you smile truely once again.

A moment like this,

2009-01-19T23:33:00.001+08:00

idw to wait for a lifetime. argh.
what's happening to me?

kill these thoughts, please.

reluctant

2009-01-19T00:21:00.002+08:00

very reluctant to do alot of things now? i have got two more assignments on hand and i dont feel like doing it at all. idk why either. lack of motivation i guess. :(

HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Love is blind,

2009-01-18T23:25:00.001+08:00

and idk why. :(

iahfowhpwehgewg

2009-01-18T02:57:00.002+08:00

Scorpio Horoscope (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
It's hard for you to let go of a negative feeling, but it can be a clean break from the past once you finally do. Today, as the Sun enters progressive Aquarius, you have a rare opportunity to see what's been holding you back. Don't be afraid to take a quantum leap into your future, even if it still takes a few more days for the shift to ripple through your soul.

I dont do patience. i have no patience at all.

sweet $$

2009-01-18T02:03:00.002+08:00

finally i cut my nails! so nomore "eh! why your nails like that ah?" or "lazy bitch, please cut your nails". lol. and and and and and and and i am a happy kid! woohoo. ok assignments to be done. :(
a moment of happiness.

ENG ENG ENG!

2009-01-18T00:06:00.002+08:00

No school on friday, went to pay respect to my grandma, and realise it was already her 100th day of death. time pass so fast, it seems like she is still here with us, sleeping in the same room as me, having to take care of her in the night. everything felt like as if it happened yesterday. many things happen. a pity ahma can never enjoy her peace, whenever all of us get to meet together. nomore peace and laughters, there's always much quarrellings and all. idk why either. is it true cause grandma is gone so we ain't that close anymore? i always feel that after ahma is gone, something is like missing sigh.ahma is like the pillar for all of us, and now when the pillar is gone, everything just collapse. ever since the cremation day, nothing went really well. im sorry ahma, rest well up there ok? loves.
THEN I!
went over to jon's dad place to stayover. lol. we had couple of drinking games, however there wasn't enough alcohol to make all of us high! anti-climax, but then again there's always louis there to make all of us you know, 'high' enough. lol. i swear everyone was targeting him like mad, he wasnt dumb either, everytime he needs to drink, he act drunk, and fell asleep. LOL. his expression is simply priceless. hahahahaha.
after those drinking games, we had this dare or dare game. simply gross to the max, and i seriously think all of them has gay tendency. hahaha! but it was seriously funny, painful and erotic. was it? lol.
we received complaints from the neighbourhood, police came and gave us warning. lol, glad that all of us were sober enough to attend to them. slept at like 6 in the morning woke up at 12? jon's dad bought lunch for us, and he is really a nice guy! lol. very funny and loveable. now i know why jonathan is like this! like father like son. oh well!
cabbed back and slept all the way till like 11 plus. missed weelyn's party and didnt accompany dad for dinner. :( so sad, i felt bad. and i love my dad.

Give me more time,

2009-01-15T23:34:00.002+08:00

i want to shop :( :( :(
what do you do when your want is stronger than your needs and is overpowering everything?
i want to sleep.

baby, i'm a want you, baby, i'm a need you.
when will it happen!? :)

illusions.

2009-01-15T00:35:00.002+08:00

i realise when you see the world with a lousy vision and everything looks damn blurry might not be a bad thing! cause ugly guys become handsome, and handsome guy just appears to be more handsome! woohooo. not bad not bad.
and i damn lucky! i got selected for the visit to HOWA!, architecture flim. am i lucky or what! what more i was the first one that got selected!! hahaha

isnt it friday today?!

2009-01-14T02:14:00.002+08:00

argh, idk why but it feels like a friday to me.
i think i am not into proj's mood yet, not for now. model makings are making me damn annoyed by myself. like why the fuck i just cant do it, and normally you know, i dont give a fuck about it, yet now i feel so piss off. it's like im a failure, and the thought of failing and having to retake this elective just make it worst. and what more, i retried so many times :(
lyss is having an alumni band?! well, contemplating to join or not, but i seriously dont feel like going back loyang anymore. i dont want to have anything to do with it. so i think i shall give it a miss. what more i am very busy with school, in addition to the competition im participating in, i cant get any busier than that. i.need.life.well.
just finished my dotting shit whatever you called it, i think it looks fugly though. it not what i expected to be. maybe sometimes i am just not capable of my own expectation of myself, yet i am demanding for it. wtf is wrong with me.

and wtf is wrong with him!?

haoyee says:
FUCK FUCK FUCK
WHY UR FACE SO FREAKING BIG(my dp)
LOUIS DARDAR IYEE LURBB EU SHO MUCHIEZ, MWAUCKSZ. says:
WHAT
fat ma
haoyee says:
MAKES ME ANGRY
LOUIS DARDAR IYEE LURBB EU SHO MUCHIEZ, MWAUCKSZ. says:
i become damn fat, cannot meh.

lol, annoying.

Blow wind blow,

2009-01-13T02:13:00.003+08:00

dk why but is super windy nowadays. random.

i wish i could get back to the first day i saw you.
and i whisper these words while you are lying down by my side,
ily, please say you love me too.
till the end of time.

i hope you understand,

2009-01-13T01:26:00.002+08:00

Leave me out with the waste, this is not what I do. It's the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you. It's the wrong time for somebody new. It's a small crime and I've got no excuse. Is that alright? Give my gun away when it's loaded. Is that alright? If u don't shoot it how am I supposed to hold it. Is that alright? Give my gun away when it's loaded, Is that alright with you?

been thinking alot lately, and wonder when will the right one appear, sigh. i want to give it a try again.

Thoughts,

2009-01-12T01:30:00.002+08:00

woah, i didnt get to gym today cause i was damn lazy. so i went over leong's place, then to pp. after dinner went over nigel's place. i swear what the three of them said make me think alot. especially jonathan uh. lol. what's the concept of money to me? why cant i save money? why cant i be more independent in daily life? idk. i should learn. be more thrifty. shouldnt spend money like anyhow, and eat simple and cheaper food! dont waste food. dont waste money on stuffs idw!
look at this, if i can cut down on the money i spend on food, not only i can save money but also slim down! wa awesome shit!
maybe im just damn lazy to do things on my own, i doubt is the capability, is it? lol IDK!!! but i am damn lazy an impatient ah, i seriously dont have any patience with myself, oh well. but i really want to get more clothings. well, HOW?! i shall see how. :) slowly and take a step at a time. im still young aint i?! idw to be 18 :(
can i even survive on my own nottttttttttt, woah looks tough but interesting! :D

you're my angel,

2009-01-11T03:12:00.002+08:00

Gotta make it alright, gotta seek it tonight.
you're the reason i knew.

thanks leong for helping me with my stuffs.
finally get to suana after so long, and need my gym badly tomorrow! :D

lastly, you're a total turn off. thanks.

blahhhhhhhhhhh

2009-01-10T11:41:00.003+08:00

oh man. i need to start on my poster stuffs and all but fucking lazy to get materials as usual. argh. phone making is seriously pissing me off! fucking hell. no matter how hard i tried i still cant make a fucking flip phone. omg. i retried like a thousand already man. and what if i dont get A which i dont think i will. well done. ARGH! damn pissssssssssssssssssssssssssssss D:

nowadays, i always feel so sleepy! idk why too, so annoying, omggggggg. i want to go shopping, but i am damn lazy to get out of the house. :( idk why i am feeling so lethargic, suddenly the drive for this sem is goneeeeeeeeeeeee. woohoo. ok i cant wait for my KL trip, i need to unwind man. hoho!
walao eh, what's the missing feeling huh? i cant figure it out.

Hidden.

2009-01-09T01:10:00.002+08:00

I R D K W I N L S M. I F T I A M T L F A I W I B T. Y N I G I T M. I I C I A U? F? S? I D K. I T I R N G T G M S T W L M, I D W T L A T G K W. I W T M S T L M S M N, A B I A S R W H, A L F. S T L C A T. P, T I A I B O Y, T I W B T H G A. :)

Lover,dreamer,me

2009-01-09T00:43:00.002+08:00

then again, 09 seems to be another long way to go. everything over again. can he grant my little wish please? sigh.

feel so slack, tired, i just want to sleep. argh. projs and more projs. elective is like dnt. totally the same. wahhhhhh, reminds me of secondary 2 period, lol. me and leong, damn killer man! but it was all fun. and now is 09 already, fucking fast and furious. lol. nowadays always having weird dreams, nb. this post is totally random and no link.

11:11 once more.

:(

2009-01-07T21:21:00.001+08:00

when i lose myself i think of you.

sleepy.

2009-01-06T00:51:00.002+08:00

awesome school day, but then director's talk sucks big time. its too draggy, and it doesnt make any sense. slept and slept in school. woah, damn tired. anyway, model making seems to be quite slack, so no worries till the end of month!

just fuck everything that is in your way now. woohoo

It's not over,

2009-01-05T06:47:00.003+08:00

WOAH, i actually didnt sleep the whole night, superb or what. ok got to go get ready for school, and attend some stupid talk and then all the way till 9pm at night. is gonna be a fucking long day, hope it would be a fucking awesome day too. oh well. :)

anyway, i seriously miss sec school life, at this time my dad would be sending me to school, reach school and all. lol. it has been so long since i woke up at 6 plus to shower and all know to school. as much as i detest the minimal sleep, i still enjoy the hours in sec school. sigh, i seriously dw to grow up, and i wish i dont. i wish i can stay at sec 3 all the way. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

i wouldnt go home without you.

scorpio so coolzxz

2009-01-05T03:50:00.000+08:00

The Scorpion is one intense little creature, with enough poison in its own tail to disable or kill a much larger opponent. But the problem with this kind of built-in biological weaponry is that it must be mastered in order to be used most effectively. You Scorpios can use your "stinger" for self-defense, using your powerful emotional awareness to render your opponent harmless. But there is a sexual component of poisonous tail also, and until you learn to control those strong urges, you may find yourself in uncomfortable situations.Scorpio is the only sign that has three animal totems. First, there is the well-known Scorpion with its active tail. Second, as the Scorpio learns to master its passion and hold its instincts at bay, it changes into the Eagle. The Eagle has more perspective, for it flies high above the surface of circumstances, swooping down with its power only to kill prey for food. In its third form, the Scorpion becomes the always-peaceful dove. The real meaning of Scorpio is thus shown. Scorpio is about metamorphosis. Scorpios transform the painful poisons of possessive passion into a higher consciousness based on universal love.Your motto might be "What is hidden is more interesting than what is obvious." You are the detectives of the zodiac. Your magnetic personality draws others to you. But you can also be secretive yourself, for you learn early on that when you express everything, others may be scared by the power of your feelings. You desperately want to have someone to merge with your feelings, but can become cold and withdrawn when hurt in love. You have the magic to light up the dark, but sometimes you would benefit by looking at the positive side of things rather than going into the darkness at all.
Element: WaterAstrologically, the water element symbolizes emotion. Water runs deep; it seeks its own level and will flow until it has found it. The cycle of water is endless with the snows falling in the mountains and melting. The mountain streams join to make the great rivers that run to the sea. The tides and currents churn the oceans. Similarly, our feelings are flowing as they connect the present with past experiences. Sometimes the waters are so deep that we cannot put words to our feelings.The water of Scorpio is fixed and frozen, but it is a mistake to think that ice doesn't flow. It does flow -- and with great power. Think of a glacier, moving so very slowly, yet with enough power to flatten a forest or even a mountain.

was thinking,

2009-01-05T00:04:00.002+08:00

wahhhhhhhhh, close to youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu~
cant stop singing the song man! oh yea, bro baked cheese prawns for me. damn tasty! simple yet tasty. woohoo. ok happyand satisfied. dad's in indo now, and there's earthquake. we cant get through him and i am kinda worried now. not long ago, i dreamt of him coming home, please let the dream come true. to be honest, as much as idw him to come home so soon, i still want to see my daddy. sigh. ka kin deng lai la papa.
i tell you this month damn killer man! i have lesson from 6pm to 9pm everyday. siao. model making somemore. hope it will be fun, more of screaming and laughing using those machines! lol. :D is good in some way, cause i can get to not think about many stuffs that had been bothering me for months. somehow, i have many thoughts in my mind, but i cant link them up, it just doesnt telly. i really yearn for it, but i just cant get it. why? maybe is fate. oh well.
feel me please. argh

eh cock face,

2009-01-04T20:26:00.002+08:00

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO COMMENT ON ME OR EVEN GIVE A PASSING REMARK. YOU ARE NOBODY TO ME, SO PLEASE STFU. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, NOT SAY YOU ARE FUCKING MATURE TO FUCKING COMMENT ON ME. YOU THINK YOU ARE SO FUCKING AWESOMELY GREAT, THEN LET THESE WORDS SLAM HARD ON YOUR FUCKING FACE, JUST FUCK THE SHIT OFF. I FUCKING DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHETHER WHAT YOU'LL THINK UPON SEEING THIS FANTASTIC POST, FUCKING HELL DONT FUCKING PUSH YOUR LUCK.

awww, it feels great to just vent your anger out like this isnt it? and the best thing is, noone will knows who you are refering to, even if its to someone you dont know, amazing but true. lol. i ain't angry nor agitated, cause for fuck!? lol, like i give a flying fuck about you, or what you said. is not gonna stop me! hell no. :D but then again, it does irks me off, nothing much, just your fuckface. whether if its what i think, is my own fucking mentality! woohoo, so what?

urge.

2009-01-04T05:02:00.001+08:00

i should head off for the bed now. (:

ijustmissyousuddenly,woah.

night, loves, xoxo.

Close to you,

2009-01-04T03:41:00.001+08:00

Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.

That is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.

That is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Just like me (Just like me)
They long to be
Close to you.

Wahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Wahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Hahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Lahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.

Just like me,

2009-01-04T00:10:00.002+08:00

Why so stars, fall down from the sky?went for band on friday, it seems like i lost touch with music. i think i suck at it so much. idk whats missing, i feel so different no longer like the past. i even came up with stupid bullshit like i need a better mouthpiece but i doubt i can play better with a correct mouthpiece. can i? and what more, i can play if i play loud and all, but i just dont have the fucking ballz to do it during combine, so depressing. feel so breathless and what not. somehow feel like giving up on music already.

lets skip all those depressing killing thoughts and to the happier side, went over to nigel's house after that! play i never again, but this time round i wasn't high/drunk, cause i drank damn little ah. i swear im not gonna drink or touch alcohol after school reopen till godknowswhen. :D after that, slacked and chatted with jon and ivan, was somewhat very nice, and we were all very honest and all. lol. knew many things that were damn shocking, lol. anyway, then we went back, then they started to sleep, and i coudnt sleep. so stay awake the whole night, till morning, took a cab home and sleep.
alex woke me up, and asked if im going for the gathering, so i went to bath and met alex at my block. off we went to mr han's place. hahaha. very nice decorated and all. was nice to meet my classmates again, though not all were present. mr han treated all of us dinner and here i am.
ok, i think i am damn fucking tired, and idk why i typed so much happenings. damn uncomfortable now. ok bye! lol

:D happy BLOODY new year

2009-01-02T00:39:00.002+08:00

oh yes, it's 2009 already, first day of the year. and im having mense!! hahaha. first day of new year, lucky or what!
anyway, having a bad hangover with mense sucks, it kinda sucks for a new year but then! i had a great night/day ah, so it doesnt matter.
let's make some pointless new year resolution!:
#1- put more effort in my course
#2- be more patient towards myself/own work
#3- be more hardworking
#4- continue gym, *i stopped for 2 weeks already lo! nb.
#5- be more sensible. :D

though i know i wouldnt really do it but i hope ill try to follow it. :D happy new year loves!

What's up!?

2008-12-31T03:35:00.002+08:00

what's up with having a blog and not blogging!?
what's up with little girl trying to be mature, and not say you are very mature.
what's up with people trying to act rich?
what's up with human trying to be nice?
what's up with the world?

ACTUALLY EVERYBODY VERY FUCK UP AH.

OH OH OH 09!

2008-12-31T01:43:00.002+08:00

omg cant believe it, 09 in one day time? wtf, seriously is damn fast ah! but anyway, i sort of love it ah. lol. but i hope 09 will be a better year ahead.

08 was a cock ah, love lost, life lost, joy gone, friend lost, wealth lost, health lost, one thing i gain is, FATS AH! lol, super bad! nb! i seriously look foward for 09 since it such a bad 08 for me, but on the brighter side, i met a bunch of good friends! not forgetting PBJ! :D i hope my luck and everything will get better in 09 please. that's all, lol.

but then again, everything gonna start once more. it isnt a fantastic idea but then, why not? hahs. as time flies i realise i'm closer to being an adult, into the society and fight for my own survival. i dont want it, it's like killing and hurting, i dont like it. but then again, world's like that, the best one lives, and the weakest get eliminated, WOAH! so scary. lol.

i want a humorous and happy boyfriend like chenhandian, so i can laugh like mad everyday!WOOHOO.

Simple.

2008-12-29T13:21:00.001+08:00

Finally get to eat my porraidge with salted eggggggggggggggggggg :D idk why but it has been very long since i have a simple meal, like really simple. and sometimes simplicity is the best, unlike human minds which are always so complex. what's the use? :)

bbq later on, OH WELL.

ah.

2008-12-29T02:07:00.001+08:00

feeling.so.much.better.after.passing.out.all.the.alcohol.cheers! :D

foul mood.

2008-12-28T23:24:00.001+08:00

think im down with fever and flu already. fuck it. i want to sleep. bye.

pearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

2008-12-28T17:14:00.002+08:00

cant believe im still at my friends house. both nigel and ivan is sleeping like pig! and i feel so bad cause i totally forgot that i've got to buy and prepare bbq stuffs for monday! lol. but! i have awesome and sexy classmate who helped me and yea everything is solve! thankssssssssssssssssss :D
tomorrow is bbq! so excited. sexy joey gonna cook sexy spag lei. woohooo. then we gonna get high and cycle around singapore ah! damn exciting! lol.
lol, played i never, quite fun. was damn childish ah, just sabo-ing people to drink thats all. lol.

i feel like having porraidge and salted egg when i get home. think i'll cook :D i want to go home alreadyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :(

?

2008-12-27T02:07:00.004+08:00

"Isnt it easier to hate than to love? i think is better to hate more than love"

my friend asked me this, i feel that is a very easy yet intricate question. no, how am i suppose to answer to that. it keeps me pondering if that makes sense. and somehow, it makes me hate myself. cause i dislike alot of people, i get disgusted by those people to the core, but i cant hate them. cant make myself to hate them so much, that it will leads to murder. you know. and love comes so easily, even not those love love, but the normal love. you express love so easily and freely. how bout when you feel hatre? how do you express hatre? giving the person a hardtime? then so what? what do you achieve then?

'dislike = mild hatre, mild hatre leads to hate, lastly, hate leads to murder.'
do you really think so? i think over growing of love leads to hate. explosive of emotions lead to hate. but there must be something so impactful that you will hate a person a lifetime, so why not just forget it.

is not some technical terms and defination we are talking and facing here. is not who's right and who's wrong, what's the state of the society now, and how bad human nature is nowadays. is about emotions and spiritual kind of feeling. what do you believe in, and lastly can you answer your own conscious?

and i dont get how my mindset gets going? i dont understand the determination that's in me all along. i dont want it. i want to dump it. you know, to get rid of the old cheese is the best way of finding a new cheese. but im not finding any. i still prefer the old cheese better than all those new cheeses. i cant stand the jealousy in me. is pissing me off so badly. maybe i just dw to lose out, that's all.

how about those different mindsets around? it's hard to believe how a person can ruin themselves just like this. with all those stupid silly reasons they CAME out with just to make life miserable for them, people around them and anything. to find an excuse that, hey its not me, it's..... THAT! ya right, sure. go on. get a life. everytime it's that that make you fail, but you didnt realise that you are a failure all along, cause you fail to see yourself, to realise your own mistakeSSS and fucking got no ball to admit it. realise that you hate yourself so much that you are giving yourself a hardtime by doing all these, and the root of hatre is cause you used to adore yourself so much, thinking that you a damn fucking genuis, fucking good looking, but nobody seems to see it, so you find that(s) to cover up for you. and that's why life is so miserable for you.

plz.go.suck.a.enormous.ballz.argh
not refering to the friend that asked me is to those others.

Go back to your home, that's where you belong.

2008-12-26T22:36:00.002+08:00

woah, spent the whole day with sis! damn awesome ah, no! is beyond awesome, bywesome. lol.
much lovessssssssssssssssss :D

next sem will be hardcore shit! new modules, elective and CDS! anyway thans guanguan!(LOL) for helping me with the application, and guiding me ah. i damn noob in this shit.

gonna pack my room soon, mom has been nagging, like what's new, but prolong naggings make me happy! lol, but there's a limit to happiness ah. and and and and, i want to paint a potrait on my wall! i think i can do it lo please, since im so sexy. lol

class bbq this coming monday! then going night cycling with peeps! going around singaporeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :)) damn excited ah! :D:D:D:D

eh fuckface, go.fuck.ballz.bye.

what's bothering...

2008-12-26T01:37:00.002+08:00

pbj came to visit and fuck my pet! wtf! so damn piss off! i thought pet society is safe and innocent.

woah, weather is such a bitch, so motherfucking cold that i am freezing like a motherfucking bitch! oh well. i cant wait to go for holiday with all my loves and shop like mad. and im receiving an 02 from my bro-in-law! woohooo. so excited :D

i miss my coursemate and jon and co! been quite long since we hang outttttttttttt. :(

alright goodnight, xoxo

madness.

2008-12-25T22:02:00.002+08:00

woah, i cant recall i actually blogged that! lol. did i? oh well. anyway had fun yesterday and today. so glad that i was feeling good and quite awake for my family xmas gathering. LOL. :D
ok, merry xmas to all again! have fun and lovesssssssssssssssss :D

you have your own life, and i havemy own path and destination :D

MERRY X'MAS

2008-12-25T02:45:00.002+08:00

WOOHOOOO. MERRY X'MASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
IM AT W'S HOUSE AND IS FEELIGN HIGH. OK NOT REALLY.
I HAD FUN WITH LEONG AND ALL. AND I LOVE MYSELF.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE MYSELF. THANKYOU.
IAM DAMN PRETTY AND SEXY. IM BETTER THAN YOU MOTHERFUCKER.
NBCB

nbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

2008-12-24T12:00:00.002+08:00

idontthinkthisisagoodyearendforme.idkwhybutifeelsosuckyrightnowicaneatnadswallowanyonethat
pissesmeoffsobadlyifindnoreasonforthosedecisionsmadeandiamveryannoyedwithallthedisgustingvow
youevermadeionlyhopethatshestheoneandwilltreatyouevenbetterthanidoandgoonlovinghermorethan
youdidlasttimecauseithinkishouldnotgiveafuckandiwillnotgiveafuckcauseifuckinggotbetterthingstodo
thereshallbenomoresuchstuffsandipromiseiwillnoteventhinkofyoualreadywoooofuckoffyouhearme

ijustreallyhopetheyearwillendsoonandeverythingwillbefasfowardidkwhattodoeverythingisonthewane
idkwhyimfeelinglikethiswalaoehfuckfuckfuckfuckgoanddielamakesmemorehappyseriously
nomorehopesnomorefalsehopes

WHAT!?!?!

2008-12-23T22:39:00.002+08:00

fuck her till she dies please. thankyou.
FAWEOR IRF JEWOARJCO3qiur409f cwIARU902R3I049085 Q958U2QYHU59Y5$!@#$)(!@(%HNFJWIEJHR#%$32HOFW9053'"@TH42V8952%"2VHRUO324'2UCTJ09853'!5C 8305VH5U395'25UV%v(
V-[J8$ %t()$#@^_%#^_981V21865-2385C9-2U56'FWQE RO#W_( RTN#IRT#@)T*I 0t843-9ct834qt#@%
(* C)$ 9t0843tq3 80v3q7t83qTCK43wFICwtig3[it93q87tcn 9-

IM DAMN PISS THIS FUCKING MOMENT. I DONT UNDERSTAND AND IDW TO LOSE. I FUCKING DW TO LOSEEEEEEEEEE.

upon realising your beauty,

2008-12-23T12:17:00.002+08:00

woah, xmas in 2 days time. which means 2009 is coming soon. many said 2008 wasnt a very good year, lets hope 2009 would be better. idk why im blogging at this hour, like afternoon? couldnt carry on sleeping anymore, oh well. feeling damn lazy to drag myself out of the house. but still have to do it.
idk how im feeling right now. have the sudden urge to pen down what im feeling. but when im on this page, everything seems to stuck. i want to say idw 2009 to come so soon, cause it means i'll be one year older soon! and maybe i dont want to accept the fact that everything was over for so many months. then again, i wish time would pass faster, like really damn fast. i just want the only thing that i dont have right now, something which is missing. maybe im just not contented with everything. i should look at the brighter side of life. but how many time in life can human always live in self denial saying, please look at the brighter side of life, when you know is all facade. people who most probably say that, bottle up their feelings, fake a smile, try to tell others you can do it, but at the end of the day, you realise everything is still in you. and at some point of time in life, it comes haunting you then you conquer it, press it all down again, and the next day begin again. and why cant my wishes come true? why cant i live in my own world? why can't i have things going my way? why cant you just fucking grow up, and how the fuck did you manage to put it all down.

NO, im not depress, just my feelings.
time to eat veg, bath and off i go.

why should i?

2008-12-23T00:48:00.003+08:00

Somehow i feel that we look like lesbian here. lol. pictures taken during stayover! :D

spab concert was great! love the omens of love, though it was a much different version? oh well. i think ws sucks shit. everytime i am there, i cant help but to get damn disgusted. if i can i will bomb the place. after concert waited for sx, was seating along the riverside, saw many white balls! and one of it is mine! woohoo. ate and went home. :)

to think i still think of it, and why should i even bother? i really dont know why, dont tell me its all coming back, hate it when it happens.

LOL.

2008-12-22T01:19:00.002+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAHA.
he looks so fucking serious. cant stand it. climax, 1:28-1:29!

i cooked my own dinner! boiled brocoli, mushroom and smoked salmon! i cook one lei! hoho. :D:D im going healthy and fit, tyty.

Goodnight and sweet dream.

2008-12-21T01:49:00.001+08:00

there's many things i wana say to you, but idk how.

huh

2008-12-21T01:35:00.002+08:00

',?!.'

A dialogue.
makes me want to ask more.
didnt understand anymore.
scold vulgarities.
period.
end of dialogue.

Like a process.

starlight

2008-12-21T00:58:00.001+08:00

idk why but nights nowadays always have lots of star. wooo, staryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.